How to Implement Constructive Punishment in the Family?
Discipline in the family is often based on a system of reward and punishment. With a proper system, children can make guided decisions, which will lead to responsibility in their behaviors. They will take logical steps to steer away from unwanted consequences. With a good discipline and punishment system, children can understand about the natural requirements of the physical world. As an example, they can’t maintain health and proper quality of life, if they don’t take care of cleanliness and hygiene. If children don’t sleep early enough, they won’t get up on time. This could make them feel unproductive and sluggish at school, which will affect their grades. So, it is clear that one action will lead to various consequences. However, children often can’t see far enough into the future. Punishment will make children think about their actions. So, punishment isn’t only meant to punish, but also to give children understanding of their actions.
When implementing punishment, parents need to be firm and kind. Their intention shouldn’t be to make the children feel miserable, but to understand that they need to be more responsible. Improper punishment could rob children of self respect, which is not a good thing. There’s a big difference between constructive punishment and doing things that make children feel miserable. Punishment should be related to misbehaviour or opposition to current rules. Punishment shouldn’t be focused only on the past, but also on the future. The aim is to make children think and behave better in the future. In fact, punishment shouldn’t be aimed to make children become obedient to their parents. Constructive punishment gives students a sense of understanding and they will have proper self discipline. Even when implementing punishment, parents should maintain a controlled tone of voice ad try to communicate their good will, regardless of how they feel.
Punishment should be part of the learning experience and it shouldn’t be something that’s demeaning to children. Punishment must be shaped to encourage children to complete tasks. Their understanding should start to sink in and they need to learn from the sequence of events. If children find it difficult to understand about consequences of their actions, parents may show an action chart. A simple chart will show children that good actions will lead to good things. Rules should start when children wake up and until they do their bedtime rituals. After punishment is implemented, it may be necessary for parents to improve their tracking and evaluation system. They should see whether tasks are completed on daily basis. Each week during the weekend, there should be a regular session to evaluate how things have progressed and what improvements that can be implanted.
A successful system will result in family members who are eager to follow and implement rules. They do that not because they fear punishment, but because they are willing to do so. They will continue to make positive remarks about things that they do. Younger members of the family should have the feeling of self evaluation and sense of responsibility. It is not a good thing if children start to think that there’s no consequence to their behaviors.