Common Abuses in Family
Abuse is actually quite common in family. Even in a generally non-abusive family, abuses could still happen in varying frequency and intensity. Abuse could cause frustration, annoyance and anger. In fact, this could represent the battle between parents and children. A common kind abuse is the physical abuse. This could be indicated by repeated or violent beating. Parental authority must be maintained, but it should never be abusive. Regardless of their mistakes and failure, you should make sure that they are not subjected to cruel punishment. Any kind of physical violence must never have any place in the family. Discipline will allow children to grow, but violent punishment will only bring them down. Children should feel empowered, instead of feeling frightened.
It is not a good thing if children continue to be subjected to corporal punishments, such as using leather strap and cane. In some situations, violent punishments could cause real physical harm and destroy their self esteem. It is not a good situation if children start to harbour a feeling of revenge and resentment. Verbal abuse could also affect people. Words are really powerful and they may carry much weight. Words can strengthen, embolden and empower. However, if not used properly, words will also cut like knives. One mean word could slowly chip away the self esteem of our children. This will result in the real decline of desire and self worth. In fact, what parents consider as teasing and jest could constitute as verbal abuse, if they are disrespectful towards children.
Home should be the safe haven for children, where they feel comfortable and safe. For them, school is often stressful enough and coming back to a home that’s full of abuse will be real bad. Parents should check whether they use hurtful and abusive speech, although they don’t mean to be abusive verbally. In many cases, constant abusive could cause children to become angry individuals, which will shape their future. In fact, parents are those who protect their children, if they are constantly criticized and emotionally battered. Unfortunately, parents are often the culprit of verbal abuse, by doing improper name calling, such as stupid, clot, dolt, idiot and others. For children, it’s no different to waterboarding torture. Parents should avoid aggravating and irritating their children.
Name calling will eventually turn into labelling. Parents shouldn’t underestimate the real power of their words. If you call your children stupid, even if you consider it as a joke, this could cause the breakup of smooth communication. Constant labelling will result in low self esteem, which is not a good thing for their future. In fact, your name calling and labelling will become a self fulfilling prophecy. It is important to avoid placing your children in a specific role. This will be a tragedy of immense proportions, because the life of your children will be greatly affected. Make sure that your children don’t pick up the wrong signals and vibes, which will cause them to wilt. Always try to make your relationships as something meaningful.
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